I'm Not Sure About This

I decided that since I am entering a new chapter in my life it was time for a new look for my blog.  While I am still not completely happy with it (what's with the deer) it is definately different from my old Blog.

We are still in the midst of the adoption paperwork (I know it won't be done until about a year after we get our child, as we will have to apply for pemanent residency/citizenship) and I have begun to wonder do they really want to know that much about me?  I am really not that interesting.

Our most recent  package from the adoption agency has about 10 questionaires/forms each ranging 1-3 pages long, most of them Jamie and I both have to fill out seperately.  The one I filled out last took me 4 hours and ended up producing 7 pages of typed info.  Now don't get me wrong I know that they want to make sure we will make good parents and that they match the right baby to us and I honestly do appreciate it but it also seems like a lot. I really do feel sorry for the person who has to read it all.

I know it will totally be worth it in the end but right now it seems like a lot.

I know it has been almost 2 years since I blogged and if I am totally honest the last few posts were cut and pasted off my husbands blog. I know it's bad but maybe not too bad when you understand what this blog was meant for.

I started this blog when Jamie and I first began to try starting a family, I thought this would be a journal of our story the the beautiful process, as most of my family and closest girl friends live so far away. I thought like most women it would be easy. My family has no history of any of the women not be able to get pregnant so I had no reason to think I would be any different. Three and half years later I realise that story I had written in my head was not going to fruition.

As I tried to change the blog to be something else I realised that it was just another painful reminder that my life was not going the way I wanted it to and at that point I had enough reminders. So I stopped and began to try to come to terms with the new story I needed to write, one that is definately not as romantic but is more honest and realistic but still hopeful.

So you may be wondering why after so long am I back. It is because, at this moment, Jamie and I are happy to announce we are "paper pregnant". After 3 1/2 years of exploring the fertility process we have decided that it is no longer the process for us, at least not at this stage. So just before we left for Australia we began the process of adoption of a child from Ethiopia. Hopefully in the next month or so we will be launching a website so that you can follow the process more closely and I am sure it will have a lot more details.

I know this is not the route we intended and I know both Jamie and I (as well as our families) have had to give up on some dreams and hopes and that has been hard. However I also know that we are so excited that there are other options out there. And that, as much as we will be answer to the prayers of many people for our child from Ethiopia, this child will also be the answer to many of our prayers too.

So please rejoice with us and pray for us because there are many months ahead we are in thick of paper work and you all know how much I love paper work. I feel like I am going for my landed immigrancy again. ugh...